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Jokes
Here are some jokes that i have:
Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
To cover up the valve stem.
What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
Branch Manager.
What's black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A blonde electrician.
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champ.
How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.
What will she ask you?
"Is it mine?"
What's brown and red and black and blue?
A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.
What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
"Space. The final frontier......"
What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"
"No, I just lie there."
Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Why don't blondes double recipes?
The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
Lipstick.
How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
There is a stamp on it.
What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
Her feet!
How does a blonde commit suicide?
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
The back of her head.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
A Labrador.
An indicator of a really bad hangover.
What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
Proofreading.
How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
Flattered.
What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A Space Invader.
What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
Data transfer.
Why are there no dumb brunettes?
Peroxide.
What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.
Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
What do you call two blonds in a refrigerator?
Frosted Flakes
How many blonds dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
None they all sit there and bitch and moan about being in the dark.
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
How do you get a one arm blonde out of a tree?
Wave.
Why did the blond climb on the bar roof?
She heard that drinks were on the house
What's a blond behind a steering wheel?
An air bag!!
How many licks does it take a Blond to get to the Tootsie Roll center
of a Tootsie Pop?
NONE, They don't lick, they Suck!
or
NONE, Just one good Suck!
What is fore play for a blond?
When the man says "c'mon baby, hop in the truck"
How does a blond turn the light on in the morning?
Open the car door.
What is a blond called that is wearing a brunettes wig?
Artificial intelligence.
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Why do blondes wear their hair up?
To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Why don't blondes eat bananas?
They can't find the zipper.
What's the mating call of the blonde?
"I'm *sooo* drunk!"
What's a brunette's mating call?
Has that blonde gone yet?
Whats an intelligent blonde?
A Golden Retreiver.
Did you hear about the blonde who died drinking milk?
The cow fell on her.
What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot.
Did you hear how the Blonde Hockey Team drowned?
Spring Training.
Q. How do you confuse a blond?
A. You don't, they're born that way.
Q: Why did the blonde fail her driver's license test 3 times?
A: Every time the car stopped she jumped into the back seat.
Q: Why do blondes stare at juice cartons?
A: the lable says"consentrate`
Q:What do blondes and a spaghetti noodle have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them.
Joke: Q:What Did The DUMB BLONDE's LeftLEG TELL TO TOE RIGHT LEG?
A: BETWEEN ME AND YOU WE CAN MAKE ALOT OF MONEY
What do you call a girl with braces?
A pecker wrecker!!!
Did you here about Operah getting arrested at the airport?
The Security lifted up her dress and found 200 pounds of CRACK!
Why doesnt Osama Bin Laden have sex with his five wifes?
Cuz everytime he opens their legs he sees bush!!!
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash
What is a 6.9
A 69 interupted by a period!!!
Whats the difference between a Drug dealer and a prostitute?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again!!!
How do you piss off winnie the pooh?
Stick two fingers in his honey!